


Are we not monsters?

by taotrooper



Category: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Genre: Brotherly Affection, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-10 13:25:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5587582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taotrooper/pseuds/taotrooper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Happens right after chapter 52, but it’s mined with chapter +100 references. After using his powers Shin-ah is wounded, in body and heart. Kija comes to the tent to bring breakfast, Zeno comes to the tent to play. In the end, what really comes is acceptance. “But we can be ugly cowards together, right?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Are we not monsters?

When he entered the tent that morning, Kija saw that Shin-ah was feeling better. The boy was sitting then, still wearing the spare white and blue robes, still bandages covering his ribs underneath. If he could move that much with that wound, it meant he was healing up nicely. It was hard to say if his disposition had improved along with his health, as the mask covered most of his face as usual and his lips were like carved in cold stone.

“Good morning, Shin-ah,” Kija said with tenderness. “Yoon had to run and help a sick lady, so I brought you breakfast today. Rice porridge.” He raised the bowl and the spoon he had brought with him.

“Thanks…” Shin-ah lowered his head in gratitude.

“P'kyuu?” A voice underneath squeaked. Soon enough, the squirrel’s head popped from the white wig.

“Good morning to you as well, Ao. Yoon says the porridge should be only for Shin-ah, but I brought you more acorns and some seeds. You know how it is in this village, sorry.”

“P'kyuu.” Kija didn’t know how to translate that to human, so he hoped that wasn’t a complaint.

“I must say thanks.” Kija said while he handed out the food to the furry animal. “It is because of you and your cares that Shin-ah’s wounds are curing so fast.”

“P'kyuu!” Whatever that meant, Kija could’ve sworn that the tone was smug. It mattered not. He grabbed the spoon with his scaly hand and the bowl with the other, and fed his fellow dragon like he was a baby. Shin-ah was already used to it for the past days, so he opened his mouth to the swaying of the utensil and the claw.

It was strange. Kija was an only child and he had never taken care of a sick person before. He had never fed another human being like that. That journey was filled with new things he had never done. This in particular was something he didn’t mind at all. It really felt like he was being useful to his little brother. It was soothing, it was filled with love. It made him smile. Kija could see Shin-ah’s sharp fangs and tongue when the latter opened up. That was ridiculously cute for some reason.

What wasn’t cute was the way Kija’s stomach grumbled and echoed. The porridge smelled too good, as expected from Yoon’s cooking.

“Hungry?” Shin-ah asked after swallowing a spoonful.

“Of course not,” Kija tried to lie. “I have already eaten my share.”

His body contradicted him loudly at the exact same moment. His face blushed.

“Kija… Eat some.” Shin-ah nodded at the bowl.

“No, it’s fine,” Kija sighed. “Food is scarce in the village and I am healthy. You, however, are still unwell. If you don’t nourish yourself enough, it will take you longer to heal. If one of us must eat, it should be you.”

Kija couldn’t tell Shin-ah’s opinion since his face hadn’t changed outside the mask. He assumed he didn’t like it because his hands tightened in a fist. Despite that, he didn’t protest and opened his mouth again after a few seconds of silence.

“Good boy, good boy!” A third voice boomed, just as loud as the groaning stomach noises. Zeno’s head was peeping from the opening of the tent, all yellow mane and green headscarf and toothy grin. The gilded medallion swung in the air and twirled. “Morning, Seiryuu! You look less pale!”

“Indeed,” Kija said as he gave Shin-ah the last remains in the bowl. “He can sit down now as you see, and he moves better. He seems to be recovering well.”

“Amazing! You’re so strong, Seiryuu!” Zeno had already invited himself in, and raised his arms to the air. “Can you walk now?”

“I don’t know… Still hurts…” Shin-ah touched his left side.

“Let’s try, then. Come outside and play with Zeno.”

“Zeno!” Kija yelled, frown on his countenance. “You’re moving too fast! Shin-ah is in no condition to engage in that kind of physical activities.”

“How about just a walk?” Zeno shrugged and insisted. “You must be so bored, lying here. When you’re bored and alone in a place, every bad thought is more painful. Just a breath of fresh air, Hakuryuu. We’ll be careful and go slowly, okay?”

“No, it is certainly not okay. That would be irresponsible. He might pop a stitch and Yoon will be mad. Have you never been injured before?”

Zeno looked at the roof of the tent, pursuing his lips.

“Actually, Ouryuu is a quick recover. Comes with the sturdy body.”

Kija was starting to get really angry at Zeno’s foolishness. He probably meant well, but that was so immature of him. He might be what, only one or two years younger than Shin-ah? How could he even be older than Yoon? It was a miracle he had survived far away from his village.

“Just in case,” Kija retorted, “we are not talking about twisting an ankle or something accidental. He got beaten up and stabbed. It is not the same as… whatever’s happened to you.”

Zeno’s stare seemed charged with unspoken yet confusing words, like a black rain cloud hovering the summer sky. The young boy was excessively expressive, yet there were times when Kija couldn’t read him at all.

“Nope, I suppose it’s not the same,” Zeno murmured as his hand reached for Ao’s little head. “Fine then, Zeno won’t bother Seiryuu until he feels strong enough to go out.”

“…Can’t,” they heard Shin-ah saying to his own hands.

“Exactly, what I’ve been saying.” Kija’s hand pointed at the wounded man. “He can’t! Thank you.”

“But when you’re better, Seiryuu, let’s go to the village together and have fun.”

“…Even then… can’t. I can’t go to the village.”

Both dragons and a squirrel looked at him with curiosity.

“What do you mean, Shin-ah?”

“They… saw me.” Shin-ah’s soft voice cracked. “They know… I’m a monster… Fear. Hate. Can’t.”

Kija felt like he had been punched in his soul, if that was even possible. He had already gotten used to normal people calling him with such word, especially the scum he had been fighting against, but that had been ignorance. Almost no one in Kouka knew that the legend of King Hiryuu and the Dragon Warriors was real and they still lived, in a way. They didn’t know of the sacred hand of the Hakuryuu. He could brush off their insults since they didn’t know any better and he didn’t care about their respect.

Was Shin-ah so affected because of his own village’s treatment? Yes, that had to be. Kija’s heart was breaking in pieces. His brother shouldn’t have to feel this way.

“Shin-ah.” He finally said, compassion in his tone. “You are no monster. You are a Dragon, and as such you should be proud to…”

“Hakuryuu. Don’t do this.”

Kija and Shin-ah turned to see Zeno. They couldn’t see his eyes under his golden fringes. His tone was exceptionally dry.

“You probably don’t know, Seiryuu, but when people feel upset about something, others may try to console them. And one way to do it is denying everything to make the other person feel better. If the upset person says they’re awful, the consoling one will say it’s not true, they’re wonderful. And many times, the consoling person does believe their words and they’re not lying.

"But we’re not doing this here. Zeno won’t tell you sugar-coated words. Sacred origin or not, we’re monsters. The four of us. You _are_ a monster and your power can be monstrous, yes.”

Shin-ah’s breathing became slightly heavier. Kija’s body shook in indignation.

“ZENO!!”

Zeno extended his arm as a sign for Kija to stop. A mysterious glare that was a sky covered in gray clouds met his. There was no rain, but there might be lightning hidden. His words were definitely thunder.

“I appreciate you and your positive attitude, Hakuryuu. You have no idea how much. But please understand that you have nothing to say about this. Your experience, your dragon power, they’re nothing like Seiryuu’s. You have a right to be here for him and shower him with support, but don’t tell him what he is and what he isn’t. You don’t understand what he’s been through.”

Kija swallowed saliva. He remembered Seiryuu village, the looks on the villagers’ faces, the way they avoided Shin-ah and ran away from him, how no one would look into his eyes. Not the same kind of experience. Not the same kind of power. There was nothing in his clawed hand that scared him. It itched to fight for his master, but it didn’t have a mind of its own like the Dragon’s eyes. He would never feel that isolation or that restraint. It was astonishing that this boy as blue as his hair hadn’t gone completely mad.

No… He didn’t have anything to say. Still… It was a terrible thing to say. Although it impressed him that Zeno, as cruel as he had been, could see things clearer than him. Had he experienced something like that before? Had people called him a monster? Had people been scared to have contact with him? Was he afraid of his dragon powers, whatever those were? Kija found the last one implausible, and yet the other questions… There should be a reason why Zeno left Ouryuu village. Maybe it was the same as Jae-ha; maybe Zeno had escaped from horrible people. Maybe Kija was the only one with a nice, loving village after all.

As Kija decided if he should ask Zeno about his past, the blond had moved closer to the anxious Shin-ah with Ao perched on his orange overcoat. He rubbed his hands on the wounded boy’s shoulders, tenderly. The storm in his eyes was gone, and instead there was immense fondness.

“But Seiryuu, that’s okay. It’s fine to be a monster. That’s not the end of you. Even if your powers are scary and you can’t deal with them yet, you’re still you. We’re still part human. A monster can have a good heart and be a person who can be loved by others. Not everyone, but screw the people who don’t. And you, when you are yourself, you’re adorable and brave and considerate. An  _amazing_ monster.”

That was a reasonable way to see it. It was still a surprise for Kija whenever Zeno showed this mellow wisdom. He hadn’t expect this sweetness to come after that jab.

“I’m not… those things… I’m ugly and a coward.” Shin-ah whispered in despair.

“Zeno disagrees. But we can be ugly cowards together, right?”

Shin-ah didn’t say anything or changed his mouth’s expression, but Zeno waved a hand and grinned.

“Yeah, I am, and maybe even a worse monster than you. Trust me on that one. But Zeno thinks you’re cute and I’ll never be scared of you. More importantly, the Miss also thinks you’re cute and she’ll never be scared of you. She even told you that, didn’t she?” Shin-ah nodded. “How about you, Hakuryuu?”

“A-absolutely never!” Kija flustered. “You are my brother, Shin-ah! I have nothing to fear! And Zeno is right about you being a kind person.”

“Kind…”

“There you go.” Zeno nodded. “Three of us who love you and don’t fear you. I’m sure Ryokuryuu isn’t scared, either. He’s a tougher nut,” Ao perked up with that word and looked around, “to crack, but Zeno bets he probably likes you already. That’s four.”

“Five,” intervened Kija. “Yoon is a normal human boy who didn’t know about us until two or three months ago. And here he is, healing you, making rice porridge for you, sleeping with you in this tent at night. He’s going to fix your coat.” He felt a pang of guilt, as he had broken Shin-ah’s clothing further when he tried to wash it. He shook his head. “Anyway, a person who’s afraid of you wouldn’t do any of that. He cares for you even though he knows what you can do. He trusts in you.”

“That’s a great point, Hakuryuu!” Zeno beamed. “See? The lad likes you a lot. And the mister will never say it, but he likely considers you a nice ally and a cool swordsman. Six people. And we won’t be the last ones. Not only the Miss has accepted you. We did. This one even before he met you.” Kija nodded earnestly. He had wished for Seiryuu indeed.

“Can I stay with you…?” Shin-ah’s words carried the emotions that the mask concealed. Kija could feel tears in his eyes. How could he even ask them that? The answer was obvious!

“Yes! Of course! Let us stay together with the Princess. Shin-ah, I am _so_ happy to have met you.”

“Zeno too, Zeno too!”

“I’m… also happy…”

As usual with Zeno, he quickly jumped to cuddle Shin-ah in a way that didn’t touch the bandages. The latter tried to return it, awkwardly. The best he could do was touching Zeno’s back with his fingertips. Kija couldn’t believe that these two adorable kids were calling themselves ugly monsters a minute ago. The black clouds might’ve been gone from Zeno’s eyes, but it was finally raining, over the White Dragon’s cheeks.

Kija decided to join in the hug, so he surrounded Zeno and Shin-ah’s intwined shoulders with his arms. Zeno froze, his face in an indescribable shock, but then he moved an arm to reach Kija’s. A couple of shy fingers made contact on the other side.

“Remember, Shin-ah. We’re your brothers by blood.”

Zeno let out a strange but pleased chuckle before Kija let go off them.

“We shall go with you when you feel ready to return to the village, Shin-ah. But believe me, no one has said anything bad about you. On the contrary. The mother of the boy who got killed is always asking about your wound.”

Shin-ah grunted. Kija had the feeling it was a good kind of grunt.

“I think they were more scared of the bandits than of you,” said Zeno. “They accept Hakuryuu and Ryokuryuu even if they can be scary, so Seiryuu is no problem at all. Let’s go play outside when you’re better! The other boy who took your sword wants to apologize to you, so let him.”

“Oh.”

“Enough emotions, rare beasts,” a younger voice sobbed out of the tent. He had overheard at least part of the conversation, judging by the tears. “Let the wounded rest.”

“Hahaha. Sorry, lad!”

“Yes, I also apologize.”

They left the tent to let a weepy Yoon in with new bandages for Shin-ah. Zeno clung to Kija’s arm all the way to the village, but after all that emotional bonding he didn’t mind at all.


End file.
